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Having it out with the demons.
This is largely ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
estirose's fault, and I mean that in a good way. I've been working out my issues with the creativity demons, and while the results haven't been as cute as celli's Conversations With Fictional People (can I borrow that title?), I've actually made some headway.
Just so you don't get confused: dialogue in bold is the author, dialogue in italics are random creativity demons, and the regular text are fic characters. (Still confused? Oh, well, I tried.)
Okay, everyone settle down, we've got work to do. Any initial questions?
Yeah. Who killed JFK?
Why do you have us lined up like a firing squad?
Shh! Don't give her any ideas!
Ahem. That was pointless. Anyway, I'm sick of the stupidity, guys; we're going over the fics in progress and the plotbunnies you keep pitching at me. First up, "The Key and the Sword" rewrites.
Aw, I *knew* it...
Five bucks says you're just harassing us to make yourself feel better.
So what if I am? Anyway, you'd think that cutting things down and simplifying the plot would satisfy lazy-asses like you. So why the arguments?
You're kidding, right? Do you know how much good stuff you'd be cutting out?
Well, the Vague Shadowy Villains were kind of lame...
Hey, that was my idea!
Guys, you're not even budging on the compromise.
Well, you still want us to rewrite that fight scene in part 5? No way. That hurt to write in the first place.
It did kind of suck, too.
That's why I want to rewrite it!
So? One sucky fight scene. Big deal.
It still needs to be fixed. Buffy's kicking too much ass. I want her to be more of a match for Teela.
BUFFY: What do you mean, kicking too much ass? I don't see that.
I do, and it's getting on my nerves. And when the AUTHOR notices it, you know it's a problem.
TEELA: THANK you!
Don't thank me yet, I have issues with your characterization too.
So what do you want from us?
Dude, she wants us to do the rewrite.
But I don't wanna! Can't we just scrap the WIPs and start anew?
EVERYONE ELSE: NO!!
It's a wonder I haven't been committed yet.. Okay, next up, Sharp Edges.
(Silence. Crickets chirp.)
Hm, I think I know what's NOT happening there. Let's move on to the Repository of Stupid Plotbunnies for now.
Stupid? My ideas are not stupid!
Riiight. Aren't you the one who's dead set on crossing Ninja Storm with everything under the sun?
Um...
Question answered. Let's start with the most insidious one: Tomorrow People/Ninja Storm.
What's wrong with that? Selma crossed over TP and PR!
Selma did it right. And nowhere in her stories did she pluck out a TP and have them bordering on a Possession-Sue.
Oh, come on, it's not that bad.
Do I have to point out to you how much Lisa and Cam do NOT work? The snark factor would go through the roof.
HUNTER: No kidding. One Cam is enough.
CAM: I heard that.
They are way too much alike in that respect, and from the little we've seen of her, not a lot of common interests. There's also the timeline issue; one could say that Lisa'd be college-age by now, but having her and Cam have gone to the same college even for a semester is kind of stretching it.
Meh. Details.
Plus, it's LISA. I'd get shot.
LISA: Excuse me?
Sorry, hon, you're not well liked. Deal. Anyway, let's get on with the many ways this is out of character.
Oh, here we go.
Number one: she's in BBH on vacation, house sitting for a friend. WITHOUT her overprotective, hyper mother. Care to explain how she pulled that off?
Um... karma?
I don't get it.
LISA: Right. The day Mom let me do that for a month alone would be the day I woke up in the Twilight Zone. Not that I'd mind, but still.
It's not like you'd still be a minor by this point. What could she do?
LISA: Have you MET my mother?
On top of that, she accidentally discovers Cam's a Ranger. And what does she do? She sticks around and tries to pretend she doesn't know anything.
LISA: What are you talking about? I'd be packing my bags at the first monster attack!
What, so you could hurry home and hear "I told you so"?
Besides, wouldn't you be the least bit curious? Or wouldn't you at least want to hang out and pretend nothing's different so you could still hang out with Cam?
LISA: Not really. And I think Cam would understand the way I go on about Mom. Can you imagine the heart attack she'd have the first time she saw a news report from Blue Bay Harbor, knowing I was out there? Besides, Cam's cute, but he's not my type.
Yeah, I forgot, you're still crushing on Adam. OW! What was that for?
If you have to ask, it's no wonder I've been ignoring your input.
Well, what if she tries to leave, but stuff keeps happening to thwart that?
LISA: Hello? I can still teleport! Not much that can stop that!
And we are not going the cliche route of "let's kidnap a Ranger's friend."
Hey, we already said there was no way we were doing that.
Well, at least one of you has sense. While I'm on the subject, why on earth is Shane hitting on Lisa initially?
SHANE: *shrugs*
TORI: Too much cold medication? I don't know.
LISA: Hey!
We don't have a good handle on his character anyway.
I know that, but it still doesn't fit. Speaking of other characters who are being abused... Cam? Hey! Earth to Cam!
CAM: Can it wait? I'm busy.
I'm trying to save Lisa from a Possession-Sue and you from being targeted by a Sue.
CAM: Well, when you put it THAT way...
Finally, since this is post-"I Love Lothor" (I assume), I can't see why Cam would have any interest in Lisa. I mean, I really can't. If he was still feeling left out prior to being a Ranger, maybe, but no.
CAM: I plead the Fifth.
LISA: I'm not going to get insulted.
CAM: Then, no. Sorry, but no.
Look, we've been over this. They're just friends. It still works.
LISA: If you were sincere, I wouldn't have to keep ducking that Possession-Sue who keeps hovering around waiting for me to lower my guard.
And really, why let him find out about her?
Hey, she doesn't LET him...
No, but the situation could be easily avoided. And eventually confessing that she knows the truth?
Uh, cause the alternative is to let him stay unmorphed when there's a ton of Kelzaks surrounding them?
LISA: I'd find an escape route the second ONE of those things appeared, not to mention a ton!
CAM: I could hold them off well enough for her to get away, too.
Again, a situation that could be avoided. And it's been done to death.
Okay, fine. Can we move on?
Gladly. Let's talk the Charmed/Ninja Storm idea.
Okay, I *know* there's no Mary Sues there!
True, it's not quite as wrong, but there's not much in the way of plot.
What? I think a demon coming after Cam's amulet is a good plot!
A Charmed-verse demon that the Rangers couldn't fight on their own?
Well, you nixed the water warlock idea.
I've only seen a small part of "A Witch's Tail," and I think that idea would contradict canon. Besides, Tori'd have no problem with her, really.
I still like the whirlpool scene.
Yes, but you'd still need to set up why the Charmed Ones knew about her and what she was after in the first place but not know where the amulet was. Really, all they'd have to do is scry for her.
What if they couldn't get down to Blue Bay in time?
PAIGE: Hello! Half-Whitelighter! You know, ability to orb and all that?
Pre-Paige, then.
Leo can orb. How many times do we have to go over this?
You're no fun.
I have standards. Unlike you. Next!
Yeah, what's wrong with the He-Man short fic idea?
Nothing, actually, if we can get it to work. I just don't want to hear about it now. Too much on my plate already.
Get it out of your system.
NO. I tried that approach with "The Key and the Sword" but ended up with another hanging WIP. No more plotbunnies! Not if they keep these stories unfinished!
So that PRLG story is kind of out too?
Okay, that's not even a PRLG story. It's a "let's torture Mike post-PRLG" story.
What's wrong with that?
MIKE: Hey!
I'd normally say nothing, but think about it. You've been trying to slap together an entirely new planet and power as part of the deal.
Hey, we actually got some good background going there!
Yeah, it's better world-building than we usually do.
Exactly. And you are NOT allowed to do anything that requires world-building right now! By the time we've constructed the world to the point that it won't get taken apart in five seconds by an astute reader, you'll be bored with the story idea or have forgotten what we were writing!
My memory's better than that.
What'd I have for dinner last night?
Uh.... wait, I know this one...
Great, we'll be here all day.
Then let's move on. Cliche Charmed fic idea. I thought I placated you guys with that one scene I posted.
True, but... remember how Grams reacted to Wyatt? It'd be kind of interesting if she met the teenage version and realized he wasn't all bad.
Hey, they've done time travel before. Multiple times.
Yes, but you've never been able to explain what he's sent back to stop or what is up with Chris. That's pivotal to any kind of plot.
We can make up a time-traveling demon. Not hard.
What about the question of Wyatt's powers? He wouldn't have them.
Well, maybe it'd be different in this case.
Why? I haven't seen the ep where the Charmed Ones went back to when they were kids in a while, but the powers didn't work then and I can't explain why Wyatt would have powers now.
Yeah. Well. Um.
And I haven't mentioned the potential Mary Sue.
With all the humiliation she goes through, you still think she's a Sue?
She's largely unnecessary. Besides, I'm starting to wonder if Grams wasn't right and there is something up with Wyatt.
If Chris is Wyatt, I'm going to be sick.
Well, for once we agree on something. Anyone else?
Should I mention the N&A/TP crossover or will I be shot?
No, but I don't want to hear it. That might be a decent idea, and if you don't talk about it, it won't go stale. Besides, I have to get my WIPs done. This is ridiculous.
Do we HAVE to?
Shut up! Do you WANT to go in the junk drawer?
Okay, fine, whatever.
Wait! I remember! Sloppy Joes!
Huh?
Dinner. Last night.
Why me?
...
Feel better now?
Actually, yeah. Didn't accomplish anything, but yeah.
Oh, that reminds me.
What?
You owe me five bucks.
AAAGGGGH! *CRASH*
Scary thing is, they ripped that ending off. (Sorry, Death, some of them are starting to imitate your demons. I need help.)
estirose's fault, and I mean that in a good way. I've been working out my issues with the creativity demons, and while the results haven't been as cute as celli's Conversations With Fictional People (can I borrow that title?), I've actually made some headway.Just so you don't get confused: dialogue in bold is the author, dialogue in italics are random creativity demons, and the regular text are fic characters. (Still confused? Oh, well, I tried.)
Okay, everyone settle down, we've got work to do. Any initial questions?
Yeah. Who killed JFK?
Why do you have us lined up like a firing squad?
Shh! Don't give her any ideas!
Ahem. That was pointless. Anyway, I'm sick of the stupidity, guys; we're going over the fics in progress and the plotbunnies you keep pitching at me. First up, "The Key and the Sword" rewrites.
Aw, I *knew* it...
Five bucks says you're just harassing us to make yourself feel better.
So what if I am? Anyway, you'd think that cutting things down and simplifying the plot would satisfy lazy-asses like you. So why the arguments?
You're kidding, right? Do you know how much good stuff you'd be cutting out?
Well, the Vague Shadowy Villains were kind of lame...
Hey, that was my idea!
Guys, you're not even budging on the compromise.
Well, you still want us to rewrite that fight scene in part 5? No way. That hurt to write in the first place.
It did kind of suck, too.
That's why I want to rewrite it!
So? One sucky fight scene. Big deal.
It still needs to be fixed. Buffy's kicking too much ass. I want her to be more of a match for Teela.
BUFFY: What do you mean, kicking too much ass? I don't see that.
I do, and it's getting on my nerves. And when the AUTHOR notices it, you know it's a problem.
TEELA: THANK you!
Don't thank me yet, I have issues with your characterization too.
So what do you want from us?
Dude, she wants us to do the rewrite.
But I don't wanna! Can't we just scrap the WIPs and start anew?
EVERYONE ELSE: NO!!
It's a wonder I haven't been committed yet.. Okay, next up, Sharp Edges.
(Silence. Crickets chirp.)
Hm, I think I know what's NOT happening there. Let's move on to the Repository of Stupid Plotbunnies for now.
Stupid? My ideas are not stupid!
Riiight. Aren't you the one who's dead set on crossing Ninja Storm with everything under the sun?
Um...
Question answered. Let's start with the most insidious one: Tomorrow People/Ninja Storm.
What's wrong with that? Selma crossed over TP and PR!
Selma did it right. And nowhere in her stories did she pluck out a TP and have them bordering on a Possession-Sue.
Oh, come on, it's not that bad.
Do I have to point out to you how much Lisa and Cam do NOT work? The snark factor would go through the roof.
HUNTER: No kidding. One Cam is enough.
CAM: I heard that.
They are way too much alike in that respect, and from the little we've seen of her, not a lot of common interests. There's also the timeline issue; one could say that Lisa'd be college-age by now, but having her and Cam have gone to the same college even for a semester is kind of stretching it.
Meh. Details.
Plus, it's LISA. I'd get shot.
LISA: Excuse me?
Sorry, hon, you're not well liked. Deal. Anyway, let's get on with the many ways this is out of character.
Oh, here we go.
Number one: she's in BBH on vacation, house sitting for a friend. WITHOUT her overprotective, hyper mother. Care to explain how she pulled that off?
Um... karma?
I don't get it.
LISA: Right. The day Mom let me do that for a month alone would be the day I woke up in the Twilight Zone. Not that I'd mind, but still.
It's not like you'd still be a minor by this point. What could she do?
LISA: Have you MET my mother?
On top of that, she accidentally discovers Cam's a Ranger. And what does she do? She sticks around and tries to pretend she doesn't know anything.
LISA: What are you talking about? I'd be packing my bags at the first monster attack!
What, so you could hurry home and hear "I told you so"?
Besides, wouldn't you be the least bit curious? Or wouldn't you at least want to hang out and pretend nothing's different so you could still hang out with Cam?
LISA: Not really. And I think Cam would understand the way I go on about Mom. Can you imagine the heart attack she'd have the first time she saw a news report from Blue Bay Harbor, knowing I was out there? Besides, Cam's cute, but he's not my type.
Yeah, I forgot, you're still crushing on Adam. OW! What was that for?
If you have to ask, it's no wonder I've been ignoring your input.
Well, what if she tries to leave, but stuff keeps happening to thwart that?
LISA: Hello? I can still teleport! Not much that can stop that!
And we are not going the cliche route of "let's kidnap a Ranger's friend."
Hey, we already said there was no way we were doing that.
Well, at least one of you has sense. While I'm on the subject, why on earth is Shane hitting on Lisa initially?
SHANE: *shrugs*
TORI: Too much cold medication? I don't know.
LISA: Hey!
We don't have a good handle on his character anyway.
I know that, but it still doesn't fit. Speaking of other characters who are being abused... Cam? Hey! Earth to Cam!
CAM: Can it wait? I'm busy.
I'm trying to save Lisa from a Possession-Sue and you from being targeted by a Sue.
CAM: Well, when you put it THAT way...
Finally, since this is post-"I Love Lothor" (I assume), I can't see why Cam would have any interest in Lisa. I mean, I really can't. If he was still feeling left out prior to being a Ranger, maybe, but no.
CAM: I plead the Fifth.
LISA: I'm not going to get insulted.
CAM: Then, no. Sorry, but no.
Look, we've been over this. They're just friends. It still works.
LISA: If you were sincere, I wouldn't have to keep ducking that Possession-Sue who keeps hovering around waiting for me to lower my guard.
And really, why let him find out about her?
Hey, she doesn't LET him...
No, but the situation could be easily avoided. And eventually confessing that she knows the truth?
Uh, cause the alternative is to let him stay unmorphed when there's a ton of Kelzaks surrounding them?
LISA: I'd find an escape route the second ONE of those things appeared, not to mention a ton!
CAM: I could hold them off well enough for her to get away, too.
Again, a situation that could be avoided. And it's been done to death.
Okay, fine. Can we move on?
Gladly. Let's talk the Charmed/Ninja Storm idea.
Okay, I *know* there's no Mary Sues there!
True, it's not quite as wrong, but there's not much in the way of plot.
What? I think a demon coming after Cam's amulet is a good plot!
A Charmed-verse demon that the Rangers couldn't fight on their own?
Well, you nixed the water warlock idea.
I've only seen a small part of "A Witch's Tail," and I think that idea would contradict canon. Besides, Tori'd have no problem with her, really.
I still like the whirlpool scene.
Yes, but you'd still need to set up why the Charmed Ones knew about her and what she was after in the first place but not know where the amulet was. Really, all they'd have to do is scry for her.
What if they couldn't get down to Blue Bay in time?
PAIGE: Hello! Half-Whitelighter! You know, ability to orb and all that?
Pre-Paige, then.
Leo can orb. How many times do we have to go over this?
You're no fun.
I have standards. Unlike you. Next!
Yeah, what's wrong with the He-Man short fic idea?
Nothing, actually, if we can get it to work. I just don't want to hear about it now. Too much on my plate already.
Get it out of your system.
NO. I tried that approach with "The Key and the Sword" but ended up with another hanging WIP. No more plotbunnies! Not if they keep these stories unfinished!
So that PRLG story is kind of out too?
Okay, that's not even a PRLG story. It's a "let's torture Mike post-PRLG" story.
What's wrong with that?
MIKE: Hey!
I'd normally say nothing, but think about it. You've been trying to slap together an entirely new planet and power as part of the deal.
Hey, we actually got some good background going there!
Yeah, it's better world-building than we usually do.
Exactly. And you are NOT allowed to do anything that requires world-building right now! By the time we've constructed the world to the point that it won't get taken apart in five seconds by an astute reader, you'll be bored with the story idea or have forgotten what we were writing!
My memory's better than that.
What'd I have for dinner last night?
Uh.... wait, I know this one...
Great, we'll be here all day.
Then let's move on. Cliche Charmed fic idea. I thought I placated you guys with that one scene I posted.
True, but... remember how Grams reacted to Wyatt? It'd be kind of interesting if she met the teenage version and realized he wasn't all bad.
Hey, they've done time travel before. Multiple times.
Yes, but you've never been able to explain what he's sent back to stop or what is up with Chris. That's pivotal to any kind of plot.
We can make up a time-traveling demon. Not hard.
What about the question of Wyatt's powers? He wouldn't have them.
Well, maybe it'd be different in this case.
Why? I haven't seen the ep where the Charmed Ones went back to when they were kids in a while, but the powers didn't work then and I can't explain why Wyatt would have powers now.
Yeah. Well. Um.
And I haven't mentioned the potential Mary Sue.
With all the humiliation she goes through, you still think she's a Sue?
She's largely unnecessary. Besides, I'm starting to wonder if Grams wasn't right and there is something up with Wyatt.
If Chris is Wyatt, I'm going to be sick.
Well, for once we agree on something. Anyone else?
Should I mention the N&A/TP crossover or will I be shot?
No, but I don't want to hear it. That might be a decent idea, and if you don't talk about it, it won't go stale. Besides, I have to get my WIPs done. This is ridiculous.
Do we HAVE to?
Shut up! Do you WANT to go in the junk drawer?
Okay, fine, whatever.
Wait! I remember! Sloppy Joes!
Huh?
Dinner. Last night.
Why me?
...
Feel better now?
Actually, yeah. Didn't accomplish anything, but yeah.
Oh, that reminds me.
What?
You owe me five bucks.
AAAGGGGH! *CRASH*
Scary thing is, they ripped that ending off. (Sorry, Death, some of them are starting to imitate your demons. I need help.)
ROTFLMAO
I swear, I'm not copying if I post a conversation with my muses. Well, I am, but yours is way funnier than mine.
Gawd, I'm wiping tears from my eyes.
- Meg
Me too! *Wipes Eyes*
I needed that to brighten my afternoon...thanks a bunch!
::goes back to re-read::
no subject
(Bears hibernate in the winter, come out looking a little shaggy, but in the Spring, they are beautiful.)
P.S., your conversation with demons is hillarious!