mandolin | Minion umbrellas!

Found more D&D quotes!

DM = Vengeance, running the game
D = Pestilence, the Lawful Good paladin
B = the Neutral Good cleric
T = B's wife, playing his character's deity
Mk = the Chaotic Neutral barbarian
G = the Chaotic Neutral fighter
K = the Neutral Evil mage
J =

jennies, the Chaotic Evil cleric
M = Me, playing J's deity since I didn't have the guts to roll a character yet

T: "You may go."
D: "Athena says we may go."
K: "She is all wise."

J: (to D) "So, dropping off instead of picking up at the blood bank?"

G: "Can I make my character 3' 2"?"
DM: No.

K: "We break camp. And I fix it."
J: "But when night falls, do you catch it?"
B: "It shatters."

J: "I have my minion umbrellas!"
K: "Float overhead, turn horizontal."
DM: "When you order them to do that, they just stare at you like you're insane."

K: "And suddenly, 600 kobolds come out of nowhere!"
J: "All right, I'm going home."

(D grabs one of K's dice)
K: "Give me back my personality!"

DM: "Skeletor would be too bad-ass for you all."

DM: "Jen, what's your armor class?"
J: "Two. ....Fuck."

J: "I have an inner child? I don't remember trying to eat anybody."

J: "The minions don't know what's going on at this point."
M: "Put Special Ed in charge, did you?"

G: "You can hit with the skeleton hands!"
B: "Bitchslap!"

Mk: "God, even the cleric's getting more of them than I do!"

G: "I got three heads."
T: "What's new?"
G: (holding a squirt gun) "Bob, can I squirt your god?"

DM: "There's a well in the middle."
B: "Who's going down?"
J: "Gary."
G: "I push Jen down the well."

K: "Okay, I'm bored, someone has to die."
B: "Well, Gary and Mark are down the well."

Yeah, that's all for today, I swear.