mandolin | Catch up, part deux: D&D (Reply)

Okay, so - more catching up. Here, what I wanted to post this time last week.

Namely, stuff from the last D&D session, complete with the ~~most insane~~ Best. Resurrection. Ever:

(The following is cut for sheer length, dice-rolling, crazy ideas and repeated decapitation.)

"I rolled an 18 to kill the DM."
"I'm thinking that's a miss. You might want to save against death."
-Teresa and Jen, after a run-in with poison that permanently knocks your character's Constitution score down a few points

So, after plenty of near-death experiences (and two actual character deaths) in the Pivotal Dungeon From Hell, our party finally got every one of the requisite Nifty Items on our shopping list and came back up to the jungle and daylight. We got chased by some Astral Stalkers, a giant(?) that we accidentally made invisible, a dragon (in which my thief's blind-fighting proficiency was actually USEFUL!), and had a run-in with the aforementioned constitution-sucking monsters.

(Seriously, if you're a level 6 and you lose, say, 3 Constitution points, you have to take 18 hit points away from your maximum. I lucked out only because my elf rolled well and my halfling has ridiculously low saving throws against poisons.)

But despite all that, we were doing well, until we ran into the damned axxtors (sic).

Now I did say earlier that I'd be less disappointed in losing my elven fighter, Kanna, than I would be in losing the halfling thief. This was before Kanna picked up plate mail, a magical longsword and a doubling longbow. And this was before we ran into these guys.

See, if they roll well enough with the bite, those bastards can bite off a character's head. Guess what happened to Kanna at the same time that the killing blow was dealt to the last axxtor?

Chomp.
Me: "Son of a-- Tell me it choked on it!"
DM: "Well, technically, it probably did."

Well, I figured at least I could take solace in that, and set aside her character sheet.

But the cleric and our wonderfully nuts gnome mage (seriously, I will be very sad if this character of Doug's dies, because he's just FUN) had another idea. Here is how the Plan to Resurrect Kanna played out (while I sat in my chair laughing my head off):

They fished her head out of the axxtor's throat.

The cleric used the staff of curing (one of our Nifty Items) on the head to restore it.

The gnome mage put the head back on the body and cast Mend on it.

The DM thought this was so damn funny he let us use one Mend spell for each attempt.

Percentile dice were rolled: the head was attached backwards.

"So what kind of penalty would she have fighting like that?"
"I don't think that's going to work."
"Hey, the paladin fought with her helmet on backwards!"
"Not the same thing."
"Yeah, she'd at least be able to see."
"Don't encourage them!"

Jen's fighter-mage: "Hey! I can do Mend!"

Deb's ranger chopped off Kanna's head again cleanly.

Meanwhile, my thief was walking away a few feet from them, shaking her head and going, "You're all nuts."

Jen's mage tried Mend. This time the head was reattached correctly.

The gnome pulled out the jumper cables he'd invented and used them with Shocking Grasp.

I did point out that if he rolled Undead, an undead elven fighter would be damned funny (partly because the paladin would freak the entire time).

Doug actually rolled well enough to revive Kanna. And not as an undead.

But then I had to roll System Shock and Resurrection Survival. Resurrection: way below 98%, so I was good. System Shock? I rolled a 91. Just barely made it.

The DM said to take one Strength point off and one Constitution point off. Me: "Oh, hell yes, I can deal with that!"

In character, the thief pounce-hugged the fighter. (Hey, she's loyal to people who will pick her up and carry her away from the poison wielding monsters while she's out cold.)