mandolin: (writer)
[personal profile] mandolin
Well, it's a lovely Saturday, we once again have power, and I really have nothing to do. Considered going out for the sake of going out, but my common sense reminded me that it's been quite a while since I've had a free afternoon to work on fanfic. So I pulled out some of my old stuff and took a look at it. Then I winced and went out to run some errands. Now it's the evening, and I'm back to scratching my head over stuff.

BTW: All crossover writers should check out recent writing rants by [livejournal.com profile] sage_theory and [livejournal.com profile] fikgirl post haste. I must applaud these two.

First up, rewrites of "The Key and the Sword." This story has the following problems inherent in it:

1) It's getting too long. The Obligatory Shadowy Villains, if you think about it, are unnecessary. The search for the missing Compass piece is enough. (I'm nuking the dinner scene, since it's fairly useless. Or cutting it down.)
2) Buffy's getting ANNOYING, and I'm channeling most of my frustrations with the 2002 series' Teela through her. Need to have them more of a match for one another than have Buffy always kicking her ass.
3) The part 5 fight scene? Dear God, if I can't fix it I'm deleting it and finding another way to have Buffy and Giles meet the Masters. It's just painful.
4) Part of me wants Buffy and Giles to show up much later on; the best parts of this fic center on the Dawn/Adam friendship, and that focus started to get lost in later parts. (The problem is, this kills several scenes that I really like; Evil-Lyn's attempt to capture Dawn actually played out better than most of my action scenes do. Probably because it was more in the spirit of a chase scene.)
5) The mechanism for Dawn discovering Adam's secret needs to be changed. True, it led to a really funny scene, but I need her to find out another way. (She is going to find out first. That will not change. I suppose she could simply catch Adam in the act, and having a Slayer for a sister might make her a little more receptive to the whole "secret identity" concept.)
6) Not sure how Adam's going to find out Dawn's the Key yet... he's going to, and of course he won't understand it, but the question is how and when.

...so you can see where I'm having issues with the rewrites here. Most of my problems stem from the fact that no matter how I play it, a lot of scenes are going to be chucked completely. Some are scenes I'm particularly proud of, and others are scenes I could care less. But the demons are in a revolt over this, basically because they don't want to have to revisit old territory. *growl*

There is, of course, another option: pick up the story as-is and get back into writing it. But I've already written myself into a corner here.


On the general fanfic front, I think I've seriously lost my ability to write lately. No, really; 2003 is going down as my Least Productive Year Ever with regards to fanfic writing. Geez, even my fourth semester of college (aka the Semester Mandi Went Crazy) still yielded more than I've churned out in the last 9 months. What do I have to show for this year?

In the Waiting.

And that's about it.

I'm starting to get intimidated by the ease that my online and RL friends are having as they churn out epics and drabbles and vignettes by the dozen - and I'm sitting here staring at a piece that's been on hold for months. It's starting to seriously disturb me. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just sit down and write the ideas that are in my head? No one else is having this kind of trouble! And while they're churning out fic by the barrel, I'm sitting here with a blank slate trying not to let it get to me. I should be able to do this. It shouldn't be a chore.

I've been writing for years - not professionally, but I'm still writing, and I'd like to think I've grown as a writer. Having said that, you'd think that fic writing should be less of a chore. I should be able to write simple, self-contained stories, not these freaking epics that spin out of my control. I should be able to write! This is pissing me off!

And you know what else is driving me nuts? My shoulder. After a few weeks of not much discomfort, it's flared up with a vengeance - naturally, around the time I have the free time to write. Parental units, don't panic, I'm fine, I can treat it, I'm taking it easy. It's just annoying that it decides to start spasming when I need to use it. So unless I'm absolutely and completely fired up to write something, or on such a writing high that I cannot stop writing, the ache is just too distracting to write.

(pauses for a phone call)

On another note, I love my Mom. She and my stepdad are in California this week, and she insisted today that they visit the Jelly Belly factory. When he asked why, she said, "It's Mandi's favorite candy!" They're bringing me back a 2 lb. bag of Jelly Belly Flops.

I may not be inspired, but I won't be Jelly Belly-deprived for a while. :)
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Mandolin

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