Can't believe I'm saying this, but...

[mandolin]

Seriously - if your first class of grad school, a double-numbered class at that, reduces you to tears when you're less than halfway through the course, isn't that a good indicator that you're probably not cut out to tackle courses beyond that?

I can't rewrite a project proposal to pacify the members of my group in two days. I can't meet the technical expectations of at least one of our members. I can't even get one of the members to respond to any of my e-mails. I can't get a decisive answer out of my professor to save my life. I can't seem to wrangle a freaking thesis paragraph after half an hour of trying to work things out with another group member's help.

And I'm supposed to be in CHARGE.

Yeah.

Not exactly inspiring leadership. Not even coherent leadership, come to think of it.

If this is an indicator of things to come, I'm seriously considering trying my damnedest to somehow get a good paper grade this semester (just for my group members) and then getting out for my health.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm starting to think that grad school was a bad idea.

Comments

[zeldaophelia.livejournal.com]

I'm here very randomly (really, something like friend of a friend of a friend or something...) but I did have a thought or two for you. I'm actually working on my second Masters degree, so I do know what you're feeling.

The first semester of grad school is always the worst. You're doing something new (sometimes in a new place even), you're scared you're going to fail and you're neighbor knocks on your door to ask how you are and suddenly you are literally crying on her shoulder in your doorway. Trust me. I've been there. (And at times I doubt I would have made it through that first semester without her.) And then a fellow grad student let me in on a little advice: it's always like that your first semester of grad school. Then you find out that you can survive and without getting those 'C' grades that you were scared of (so close to passing but still just missing it by grad school standards its practically worse than outright flunking) and the juggling of time isn't as bad as you thought it was and you find other people who started with you and you all get together to bitch about your advisers over margaritas. So, just hang in there, get through your first semester and you'll feel much better in the spring. :D