So, got some beachfront property in Iowa to sell me, Bridget?

[mandolin]

To preface this, let me say that I had a lovely evening at my aunt's PartyLite party (more of an excuse to see her and my Grandma and my other aunt and my cousin's wife), and the following incident did not set the tone for the evening.

I pulled into my parking space at around quarter to eleven, illuminating what looked like a floating misshapen marshmallow in my headlights. On closer inspection, it was revealed to be Bridget, pacing the sidewalk in a big white coat. Oh, joy.

Sure enough, as soon as I got out of the car: "Mandi, can you give me a ride?"
"No, Bridget" *cough* "it's late, I'm tired and I'm going to bed."
"I need to go to my girlfriend's on Centennial Lane."
"No, Bridget." (Didn't you hear me the first time?)
"I need to get my diabetes medication."
"No, Bridget." (From your girlfriend's house? Give me a break.)
"Please?"
"No, Bridget." I went inside, making sure my car was locked.

I am going to bed now and getting up relatively early tomorrow, and the first thing I'm doing is checking my car for egg stains.

What do I have to do, brandish a sharp object at her and scream, "STOP ASKING ME FOR RIDES, YOU LYING TWIT OR I WILL HURT YOU" at the top of my lungs?

I might as well take my old tape recorder, record myself saying, "No, Bridget," and play it back the next time she opens her mouth.

But it was still a good evening otherwise. More later. Bed now.

Comments

[irittdsqrl.livejournal.com]

illuminating what looked like a floating misshapen marshmallow

Love. That.

[jennies.livejournal.com]

What do I have to do, brandish a sharp object at her and scream, "STOP ASKING ME FOR RIDES, YOU LYING TWIT OR I WILL HURT YOU" at the top of my lungs?

...you know, that just might work. Then again, with Bridgett, you never know - she might think you're just kidding. Maybe if you started charging 2x taxi service rates (you know, if she's on disability, she should be eligible for Transit tickets, which are about $1 apiece and equal one round trip under 20 miles, I think...).

If you *do* find egg stains, though, I recommend buying a dozen eggs, leaving them on your porch for a week or two, and then hiding them around her porch like angry Bun-Bun special easter eggs (though it would help to color them if you were going to do that). Or just boiling them and 'accidentally' forgetting one a day on her doorstop. Or you could buy a rubber chicken and leave it in front of her porch/door. Or buy a defunct webcam and mount it to your dashboard with an "I'm watching you, phantom egg-woman" note taped to it... ^_^

(Sorry; only my evil circuits seem to be working this evening...)

...Or, you could document the eggings, setup a real hidden camera, and catch her in the act, then take her to small claims court and tell Judge Judy that your neighbor is carrying out a deliberate campaign of harrasment, intimidation, and petty vandalism. (I volunteer to help lie in wait w/photo equipment. Heck, I volunteer to hide in the tree outside the apt with a maglite and an airhorn if you'd rather try the shock value approach....)

...Suggestions like that make me wonder if I'm missing my calling in life to be a cheesy comic villain, or at least said villain's strategic advisor...

[violetbloom.livejournal.com]

Hee! Can I join you in the tree with the megaphone? Please?

[jennies.livejournal.com]

Oh, absolutely! :D The more, the merrier! ^_^

And hey, at that point, videotaping the whole thing'd really be more for posting and distributing the shot of her reaction. ^_^

[gregx.livejournal.com]

Charge her money, I guarantee she will stop.

[violetbloom.livejournal.com]

Some people never learn. Sigh. Sorry to hear it.

[kevenn.livejournal.com]

You should have called her on her hollow lie. Diabetes meds at your friend's house???? What her aunt got tired of keeping them for her?