mandolin | "I got a blue certificate this time!" "You haven't had your caffeine yet, have you?"

*yawn* As the title indicates, I need to get more than six hours of sleep a night. Seriously.

While I am still woefully behind on D&D quotes, I figure I might as well throw out the ones I have managed to transcribe.

J = War (

jennies), the Chaotic Evil cleric
DM = Vengeance, running the game
Mk = the Chaotic Neutral barbarian
B = the Neutral Good cleric
T = B's wife, technically playing his character's deity
D = Pestilence, the Lawful Good paladin
G = the Chaotic Neutral fighter
K = the Neutral Evil mage
M = Me, technically playing War's deity

(playing with the Balrog miniature)
J: "His name is Bob."
B: "It's Bob?"
J: "I just named him Bob the Balrog."
M: "George was a little too pedestrian a name, I take it?"
J: "George is his middle name."

(reading off the calendar developed for the game)
DM: "Month 7: Season of Whispering Winds."
Mk: "Sounds peaceful."
M: "I don't like it."
J: "It's another way of saying 'Winds of Conspiracy.'"
M: "Okay, that'll work."

DM: "And Month 13: Reign of the Dark One."
M: "Whoo-hoo!"
J: "I like Month 13."

DM: "Wait. There's only seven days in a week. Never mind!"
J: (half-singing) "Eight days a week..."
DM: "No, there's only seven."
M, T, D: (singing) "Eight days a week... I lo-o-o-ve you."
J: "It's in stereo!"

(speculating on the spoils from killing off the orc army)
T: "You managed to pick up... 360 shields."
DM: "Not that much."
T: "We broke more than that."
"Okay, 12 shields that are pretty raggedy. And, um, 12 dancing girls."
M: "I think those dancing girls are going to be a little charred."
G: "Concubines."
M: "Oh, God."
J: "Not a pretty picture."
M: "I think a girl would commit suicide at the first... um, no."
J: "I could sacrifice them to you."
M: "I've never had a willing sacrifice before, that would be interesting."

Mk: (something about elves I can't make out)
D: "A long, long time ago!"
M, J, T, B: "...in a galaxy far, far away."
J: "That's just eight colors of wrongness."
B: "Eight wrongs don't make one right."

J: "We haven't reached the village. Nothing's happened yet. I mean, we haven't even confronted a squirrel I can sacrifice."
M: "A squirrel is not going to restore a whole minion, I'm sorry."
J: "But it'll make a nice little minion hat!"
G: "What if you found a little child walking through the woods?"
J: "There you go, I could give you one of those. And a squirrel."
M: "I'm thinking."
Mk: "What if there's a groundhog that pops out and starts doing 'I'm alright...'"
M: "Okay, just kill him on principle."
J: "Groundhogs must be hit with, you know, hammers."
G: "Whack-A-Mole."
J: "Yeah, you could play Whack-A-Mole with them."
M: "That'll work."

T: "Haven't you heard? 'Stay out of the tall grass. Stay out of the tall grass. Don't go into the tall grass.'"
J: "When you're as short as some of us are, everything is tall grass."
Mk: "There could be dinosaurs in there."

And from the most recent campaign...

(trying to get out of a teleporting magic room)
K: "I stand on one hand, bark like a dog and sing 'I Get No Kick From Champagne' while hopping on one hand and hop to the northeast."

(laying out where everyone is with miniatures)
DM: "That one looks like a guy, but with a feminine figure, so we'll make it Jen."
J: "I'd throw something at you, but you're the DM."

K: (to J) "If you sacrifice Gary, I call dibs."
G: (points at K) "I turn and attack him."

G: "Bob? We're going to use your head to butt the altar."
B: "No."

K: "Check the room for switches."
Mk: (rolls a 4) "I found a wall."

(J has her minions flanking her on all sides)
J: "I have my patented minion shield."
K: "The patented minion shield, by SETCO!"

J: "Don't correct the lich. You'll live longer."

DM: "You're fighting with a stick."
G: "A long sword-shaped stick."
DM: "Okay, a wooden sword."

D: "Just because I'm Lawful Good doesn't mean I was born yesterday!"

(declaring a truce between G and J)
G: "Can we still sacrifice children together?"
J: "Okay."

Oh, and I got a performance award at work. It's a blue certificate this time! (And there's money involved, too, which makes me happy.)